An invitation to share your thoughts

writing meditationI do a daily writing meditation each morning. First I chose a passage or two from one of my daily readers or other 12-step literature and re-type the passages so that they sink in. Then I write my own responses. I have done this over many years and sometimes I like to go back and read what I wrote about the passages in prior years.

This year I’ve decided to start afresh and just write in the present without plowing through the past, thinking of it only as the compost that allows me to grow and bloom in the present and not feeling it necessary to stick my hands back into the muck.

In the tradition of anonymity I will not cite which 12-step program the following passages are drawn from, yet fully acknowledge that they are the published words of others and not mine.

I share them today because they have special meaning to me and so encapsulate the struggles I have had since childhood adjusting to this imperfect world we all live in. I’ve highlighted the thought in each that most struck a chord with me.

share thoughtsPerhaps you would care to share your thoughts if one of these passages has special meaning for you.

Passage One
choicesLive and Let Live reminds us that we cannot control the actions or decisions of other people. If someone chooses to end a relationship with us, that is their right. If we’ve ascribed to the belief that the success or failure of our relationships is solely our responsibility, we may blame ourselves when a relationship ends. We can remind ourselves that each person played a part in the relationship. If a relationship ends, that doesn’t mean we’re necessarily at fault. Whether or not someone wants to be around us, we are still worthy of love and respect. Just because we don’t choose to end a relationship doesn’t mean we don’t have any choices. We still have the power to choose how we will respond. In the past, we have punished ourselves or assumed our role as victims. We don’t have to see ourselves as victims anymore. Today we can choose to be around healthy people who want to be around us.

Passage Two
pain teachesDo not consider painful what is good for you. My reaction to things that were “good for me” was one of pain. Today I know that pain puts me in touch with what I need—something from which I have cut myself off in blind obedience to habit. What pain tells me today is that I have to change. I am willing to examine old ways of thinking.

Passage Three
maturity-is-the-ability-to-joyfully-live-in-an-imperfect-world-quote-1People have disappointed you, hurt you, and let you down by being imperfect. Can you let go of the idea of perfection and accept reality, loving people just the way they are? Love the imperfect people around you. Love your imperfect self and your imperfect world. For if you cannot love life the way it is, you will suffer from eternal loneliness. We all live in an imperfect world, surrounded by imperfect people. The ability to love yourself and those around you is a gift from God that enables you to live fully, bravely, and meaningfully in an imperfect world.

Practice patience

Patience-allows-life-time-to-fall-in-place.8x10unexpected pain
a moment of inattention
the fall that only “old” people have
forcing me to face my age
my vulnerability

thrust instantly into
helplessness
incapacity
realizing I can’t just
pick up a fork
wash that other arm
reach for the remote
open the fridge
searing pain stops me short

cracked eggforcing my brain to remember
I will heal
others won’t
I can use the other arm
others can’t
I can work from home
others have lost their jobs to illness
I can count my successes
others will cave to failure
I can ask for help
others feel too defeated
I have family who have stepped up graciously
others are truly alone

I can see the benefits—
mindfulness in abundance
a window into aging
full evidence of being loved
acceptance of life as it is

attitudes and habits to carry
into wellness
when it comes
and it will come

just for today
practice patience

My Achy-Breaky Revelations

#10 – That broken bones bleed…a lot!

#9 – That all that blood slides down inside your arm leaving behind a gruesome kaleidoscope of black and blue and green and yellow bruises.

#8 – That independent, competent, know-it-all women with PhD’s don’t fare well when they suddenly become completely incapacitated and helpless. They turn whiny and weepy.

#7 – That I’m glad I didn’t do in my son those first weeks of his life when he was so colicky and I was up all night because at 43 he is a Godsend who scraped me up off the floor of the gym with his firefighter friends, stood by me in the ED, kept me from getting kicked off a flight by the TSA (“Look at me, Mom, don’t say one more word.”), and helped me move from pillar to post.

#6 – That my daughter is a whiz at multi-tasking: keeping us all afloat, packing, parenting, teaching, and organizing our big move two weeks after my injury.

#5 – That my son and daughter both picked amazing mates that have been equally helpful and caring through all of this, going way above and beyond the call of duty.

#4 – That my grandchildren remained their remarkable selves through this entire ordeal, Ryan winning his second scholarship to WWDC, Sam getting his Brown Belt and starring in the Middle School musical (after which I had my fatal fall), Aveline rehearsing for her starring role in Rapunzel, and Estelle being her best three-year-old self.

#3 – That Facebook messages and prayers of support can mean everything along with phone calls and visits.

#2 – That the above advice on FB is probably more important than I thought it was.

#1 – That God is good and is enabling me to heal, to laugh more, to wince less, and to begin to love sleeping nearly upright on the couch.

 

Asking for prayers

  • Last night up in Oregon to see grandson’s musical tripped and fell on gym floor and broke my right shoulder. All night in ED for X-rays and sling. Back to son’s at 4 am then passed out from trauma meds etc and 911 again. But checked out okay by son’s firefighter buddies. Today dealing with pain and not sure how I’ll get back to California. Or how this will affect my planned move in 2 weeks or summer travel to France. But one day at a time. If God led me to it, He’ll lead me thru it. And, yes, it was Friday the 13th!

Ka `Ohi Nani o Mana`olana presents Hawai’i Moku o Keawe

*NOTE* Videos may not play on your phone. Go to website.

A beautiful show produced by Ka `Ohi Nani o Mana`olana, a hui based in Concord, CA. My daughter Maggie and granddaughter Aveline participated again this year after many months of practice and the show was simply marvelous.The hui is dedicated to the promotion of Hawaiian and Tahitian dance and music.  This first video is of Aveline (the fair haole in the center of the front row) and the other Keiki (children) performing E Pele E Pele. Pele is searching for her home, her lava gushing and flowing. She finds a home at Kilauea on Hawai’i Island. The costumes in Aveline’s 3 dances and Maggie’s 5 dances were made by the other grandmother in our family–Donna Schoon.

Lava by the Keiki is from the Pixar-perfect love story about two volcanos, Uke and Lele, who fall in love and declare, “I lava you!” Aveline is in back row behind the little girl in center front.

Now it’s Mom’s turn. Maggie is third from right in back row (the blonde!) dancing Mauna Kea…the fragrance of hala entwined with the maile and Puna.

And here are some photos from backstage of my favorite hula dancers! Hundreds of hours to into this show and their dedication was remarkable. I just got to enjoy the show along with a jam packed auditorium of family and fans.

Aveline with Mom Aveline with Mom in red Aveline with 3 others aveline in group - Copy13133120_10207977467928279_525061583830350926_n 13133362_10207975744845203_8423168266277789365_n

Memories of France 2009

Gallery

This gallery contains 17 photos.

Getting in the mood–as if one had to work at getting excited to visit France! As I prepare for my lucky 13th trip to France this summer and a 3 week stay in Orleans with my daughter and granddaughters, I’ve … Continue reading

You’re NEVER too old for Legos!

So I’m in Sacramento for a business meeting and I drop by the local mall to take an air-conditioned walk and what do I see but the Lego Store. A few days before I’d gotten an email about their Speed Champions set. Marked for ages 8 to 14, I figure at 72 I’d have it made. So back to the Hilton and I begin to build the Porsche 917 K.

A few days and 732 pieces later, it all comes together. I dare you to find the photos of the real cars? Love the detail right down to the wrenches on the wall and in the drawers, the video monitors, the hydraulic lift that goes up and down, fuel line, and air guns for tire changes, and all the itsy-bitsy decals (a little difficult for arthritic fingers!). And I watched this Sunday’s Indy race at Long Beach while I was putting it together. So I’m a happy camper, except that Helio Castroneves didn’t win and Simon Pagenaud got away with murder. Someone asked my if I’m going to share my new creation with my grandchildren…no way! However, my six-year-old granddaughter has already managed to break Mimi’s rule. Okay…I’ll share.

IMG_1670IMG_1672porsche-917-kh-short-tail-team-salszburgIMG_1713porsche-919-hybrid-6 IMG_1681IMG_1682IMG_1683IMG_1684IMG_1707IMG_1709IMG_1708IMG_1688IMG_1687

An ode to my alter ego by Doc Flamingo

flamingo_closeup_peeping_md_clr__stperfectly balanced
knobby-kneed leg tucked under
a fountain of pink fluff
bold black beak
ending in scimitar curve

2014-01-20 10.18.52instantly recognizable in any form
elegant
comic
tropical
plastic
neon

shall I compare me to thee
deserve I your name?
“doc” is well earned
“flamingo” perhaps
misappropriated

flying namibiado you scoff at my timidity
compared to your bravado
soaring en masse over wetlands
in the Carmarque or Namibia
or regally planted on lawns
dignity never lost
never needed

do I draw the same admiring looks
spark the same smiles
or do I swim listless in a sea of
beige humanity

Maddux Flamingos do I catch the collector’s eye
as you do
alive with form and color
or do the connoisseurs pass on by
leaving me to gather dust
on a nameless shelf
cluttered with equally
non-distinguished folk

would I keep your sense of humor
if caricatured in pastel hues?
or would I bristle
with high and haughty hubris

even faded and forgotten
in the aftermath of some raucous party
you remain an icon of delight
absent the rage I would feel
to be so ill-used

flamingo_sunglasses_drink_md_clr__stbut I stubbornly keep your name
and hope you will forgive
your pink passion gives off
a secondary glow
making me into what
I aspire to be
I can always hope for reincarnation
as the real thing
in my next life

Grandson garners featured article at Cult of Mac

A proud grandmother’s indulgence: Article which appeared online at Cult of Mac

Teen dev’s ambitious app isn’t your typical photo editor

By • 11:01 am, March 11, 2016

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Ryan Stephen makes his WWDC debut. Photo: Ryan Stephen

If you’ve grown bored of Instagram’s filters, there’s a new option for giving your iPhone photos a little touch of magic.

New image-editing app Glaze is a one-stop-shop for photo tweakers that lets you jazz up still images, videos and — for iPhone 6s users — Live Photos, too.“When I was looking around for an app to create, I couldn’t find a single image app which was comprehensive across all content types,” says Glaze creator Ryan Stephen. “This was my response.”Perhaps most impressive of all? Stephen is a 16-year-old from Portland, Oregon, whose self-taught coding skills landed him a place at last year’s Worldwide Developers Conference — on Apple’s dime.

A great new photo-editing app for iOS.
A great new photo-editing app for iOS.
Photo: Ryan Stephen

“There wasn’t a tool where people could sit down and edit whatever they wanted — whether that was a photo, a Live Photo, or a video — from inside one app,” Stephen says. “A lot of apps also required users to create an account to use them. If you just want to take advantage of one cool filter, you don’t necessarily want to go through the effort of signing up to a service you may not use again.”

Yes, apps really do start out as sketches on the back of an envelope.
Yes, apps really do start out as sketches on the back of an envelope.
Photo: Ryan Stephen

Glaze lets users apply a range of filters to their pictures, carry out Snapchat-style drawing on top of a photo or video, or add text bubbles and emojis — before sharing the result online, of course. With no sign-up required.

Stephen was inspired to launch the app after being one of 350 student developers invited to attend last year’s Worldwide Developers Conference as part of Apple’s “Scholarship” scheme. As Apple describes the opportunity: “WWDC Scholarships reward talented students and developers with the opportunity to attend [that] year’s conference.”

To be eligible, would-be devs have to be 13 years or older, and a full or part-time student. Stephen was a 15 when he applied to Apple, submitting a sample app to show off his coding ability. Within a month, he’d heard back from the company, which offered him a free one-week V.I.P. ticket to WWDC.

Hopping on a plane, he got to enjoy being part of the buzzy developer scene which descends on Cupertino for Apple’s annual developer conference — complete with the enviable opportunity to have his work critiqued by a full-time Apple designer.

Craig Federighi dropped in to offer some words of wisdom.
Craig Federighi dropped in to offer some words of wisdom.
Photo: Ryan Stephen

“It was just an amazing experience,” Stephen says. “At the time, I was working on a very basic photo editing app, one that was vastly simplified compared to Glaze. [Apple’s designer] talked with me about what I was doing, and pointed out some areas that I could improve on. That was when the idea of blending text and photos came from. Before that, I had been figuring everything out myself.”

Now that Glaze is finished, Ryan Stephen plans to keep developing it, adding more features where he can. But he learned a valuable lesson from Apple.

“One of the big things Apple’s designer taught me was about the importance of adding features to add usefulness, not just to add them for the sake of it. When you’re a young developer, that’s an incredibly useful pointer to be told. It’s something I’ve really tried to take on board.”

You can download Glaze from the App Store for $0.99 here.

Who knows? Perhaps in ten years you’ll be able to say you supported Ryan Stephen before it was cool.

P.S. FROM GRANDMA KAREN: I’ve supported Ryan since the day he was born along with the rest of his loving family. He’s come a long way since that first week of life he spent in the NICU at UC Davis. Who knew what lay ahead for him.

Weekday get-away to Carmel, Monterey, and Big Sur

IMG_1461I’m just back from my best ever mini-trip to Carmel, Monterey, and Big Sur. Taking off on a rainy morning under dark skies, the sun breaking through in the distance promised stunning views, delicious meals, and a relaxing break. Enjoy.

Lunch was first on the agenda with a stunning table-side view of Anton & Michel's flower-bedecked fountain courtyard in Carmel

Lunch was first on the agenda with a stunning table-side view of Anton & Michel’s flower-bedecked fountain courtyard in Carmel

A glass of Saint Hilaire French Brut brushed aside memories of a longer than usual trip down

A glass of Saint Hilaire French Brut brushed aside memories of a longer than usual trip down

...and a hearty bowl of lentil beef vegetable soup felt so welcoming

…and a hearty bowl of lentil beef vegetable soup felt so welcoming

The smile of a charming waitperson added to the charm

The smile of a charming waitperson added to the charm

An entree of blackened swordfish on a spinach salad did the trick

An entree of blackened swordfish on a spinach salad did the trick

And as every woman knows, a well appointed restroom is an added bonus

And as every woman knows, a well appointed restroom is an added bonus

After a bit of shopping, it was on to Monterey and checking into the Merritt House Inn with its fun room themes, mine Hawaiian

After a bit of shopping, it was on to Monterey and checking into the Merritt House Inn with its fun room themes, mine Hawaiian

And admiring my shopping finds, a fringed suede shawl and an adult coloring book and colored pencils

And admiring my shopping finds, a fringed suede shawl and an adult coloring book and colored pencils

Before dinner a two mile walk along Monterey bay over to Cannery Row

Before dinner a two mile walk along Monterey bay over to…

IMG_1481

…Cannery Row

Ending with a delightful shot of a dolphin sculpture outside the Monterey Plaza Hotel with a early evening moon above

Ending with a delightful shot of a dolphin sculpture outside the Monterey Plaza Hotel with a early evening moon above

Then back to Carmel. I had made a reservation earlier in the day at Andre's Bouchee Restaurant and Wine Bar, knowing that their foie gras would be on the menu but disappointed to hear that the duck confit was "out"

Then back to Carmel. I had made a dinner reservation earlier in the day for Andre’s Bouchee Restaurant and Wine Bar, knowing that their mouth-watering seared Foie Gras a la Orange Sanguine would be on the menu but disappointed to hear that the duck confit was “out”, gobbled up by greedy tourists the day before.

But much to my delight, the waitress announced that the chef, hearing of my desire, had found a way to make the duck confit just for me. On it's bed of gnocchi

But much to my delight when I arrived, the waitress announced that the chef, hearing of my desire, had found a way to make the Confit de Carnard just for me on a bed of skillet browned gnocchi with mini root veges swimming in garlic parsley butter. YUM!

And could I resist the Crème Brûlée wiht Espresso and Frangelico...of course not!

And could I resist the Crème Brûlée
with Espresso and Frangelico…of course not!

The next morning called for a walk on the Carmel beach

The next morning called for a walk on the Carmel beach

Then as a last treat, a trip down Hwy 1 to Big Sur

Then as a last treat, a trip down Hwy 1 to Big Sur

And lunch at the Nepenthe restaurant...

And lunch at the Nepenthe restaurant…

...with its spectacular view

…with its spectacular view

...and a cup of delicious tomato bisque soup

…and a cup of delicious tomato bisque soup. Even the dreaded trip home in Friday afternoon rush hour and holiday traffic couldn’t erase the memories, the tastes, the views of my relaxing get-away.