Sitting in two dimensions

sitting alongsitting in two dimensions,
invisible zones defined by

words exchanged
falling into a chasm of disconnect
syllables whisked aloft by an inopportune breeze
flying off the edge of the table
dropping underfoot

I consider retrieving them
putting them where they ought to be
back on the table
feeling too raw to
throw them in the trash
inaction lets them blow about
subject to an errant wind

I want to touch his lips
feel their moisture.
I only watch

stilted words
slip from the corners of his mouth
which no longer
breaks into that easy smile
speaking neither of sweetness
nor yearning
only of dreams unshared
events belonging to one
not two

I watch as if behind a silken screen that
reveals only the
outlines of his body
not his heart

an unspoken agreement
dictates that our legs
cross in opposite directions
fingertips inch back
avoiding accidental touch

waiting for that spark but
stopped short by
frayed layers of insulation
damping an inner fire
I no longer ignite

sterile polite conversation
chatty skeleton of desire
creaks and rattles on

grasping for meaning
words fly past my ears
time passes in jerky moments on
back road to nowhere

morality story
a lesson written on
instead of pages

what I seek is not
across this table
nor any other
my heart needs more than
the unspoken

afternoon dims
coffee cools
I see my own reflection
across the table
his need as great as mine
both seeking
he a step ahead today
me tomorrow
both too many steps behind

more words drift by
hope sought
then abandoned

quick good-byes
like flu shots
what passes for a hug
turns his feet
down a path as
solitary as the conversation

will I sit down at other tables?
only if reminder needed
no matter how much I want
to fulfill my dreams
wanting is not enough
waiting is not enough
trying is not enough
only a power greater than myself
knows what is enough

and when enough arrives
it will arrive with
and bodies
that do not pull away.

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