Beware BAD THINKING AHEAD…

♥ ♥ ♥ BEFORE YOU LOOK UP THAT OLD COLLEGE FLAME ♥ ♥ ♥

bad thinkingPAY HEED TO THIS TRAILER for DEGREES OF OBSESSION 

BUY DEGREES OF OBSESSION by KAREN STEPHEN

KINDLE for $0.99 cents

PAPERBACK used from $1.36 at Amazon.com

 FREE for AMAZON PRIME customers

Longtime therapist Dr. Charlene “Charlie” Pederson admits that her fixation with college sweetheart Danny Shapiro has reached the unsettling stage of obsession.  Jolted by turning fifty and struggling with a condescending husband, Charlie crafts a harebrained scheme to find Danny and recapture his heart.  Her delight at reuniting  with her old flame soon turns to indignation when he accuses her of stalking him. Danny’s fears about being stalked are well-founded.

Degrees New Front CoverCharlie plays on her professional expertise about stalking to worm her way back into Danny’s life…all the while jeopardizing her marriage, tarnishing her reputation, and alienating her best friend.  After her darkest secret is revealed, Charlie plunges into unfamiliar depths of pain and mortal danger and must rely on every psychological trick in her book to survive. DEGREES OF OBSESSION will take you on a riveting journey from risky infatuation to personal fulfillment and forgiveness.

Roundup for my soul…

DSC01772 banish reluctance
pouty lip
acknowledge god-given gift
faculty to bear
what comes to pass

broad spectrum
fast acting post-emergent
depression-cide

water-soluable
mix with tears

guaranteed control
perennial fear
annual disappointments

graft new vein
on broken heart
plow garden-fresh furrow
into hard soil of resistant mind
plant hardy seed
anticipate growth

Gratitudes on this Thanksgiving Day

Gratitudes have always been my key to brushing away the cobwebs of disappointment, the shadows of fear, the chimera of lingering doubts, and the pain of promises broken. Today on this official day of Thanksgiving, I share a few of my gratitudes in photos. All of which have put a smile in my heart. .

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Eleven marvelous trips to France and memories in photos. This of Villefranche at night. A photo turned to oil.

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A visit to Strasbourg with our dear friends

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Killer Burgers in Portland with my son and daughter-in-law

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Being present at the birth of my granddaughters

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Wistful moments

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A proud Mom with her volunteer firefighter son and grandsons

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A beautiful daughter who is teacher, Mom, wife, and friend

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Memories of my union days

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Bonifacio, where it all started in 1963 and ended with my new novel MOTHER TONGUE

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Bringing France home in the pottery and colors of Provence

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Being Helio’s number one fan!

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Having adventures–flying over Denali

Paperback cover final

The publication of my new novel in paperback and Kindle

Aveline Estelle & Minnie

Having Minnie in our lives

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Best friends for 63 years!

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And happy to be @docflamingo and not a turkey today!

 

Signing up to be “optional”

Maya AngelouI’ve found that Maya Angelou’s sayings pop up when least expected and most appreciated. I had been struggling with a personal dilemma and seeing her words on my FB page clarified the issue for me in that striking way that sudden insight can cause a connection between your brain, your heart, and your gut at precisely the same instant in time, producing a lightning bolt of truth.

That bolt of truth led me to a vision of an application form being completed by the person I had chosen to make a priority. I could just see the person filling in all the required information: name, address, date of birth, phone numbers, next of kin, occupation, vehicle driven. Even a list of top daily activities and priorities. Then at the very bottom, in case the applicant had something to add was this:

Additional interests ______________________ (optional).

And there I saw my name, scribbled there by none other than me.

I reached for my mental eraser and scrubbed my name off the line. And instantly a flood of similar applications flashed before my eyes, each and every one listing my name in one of the required information fields: Beloved mother, favorite grandmother, valued employee, trusted confidant, and BFF.

Moral of the story: Never sign up to be optional when you already are the real thing.

 

Sam’s Anchor Cafe ~ Tiburon ~ 1963 and 51 years later

Sams 1963

Sam’s Anchor Cafe in Tiburon in 1963

2014-03-07 14.05.12A typical Sunday morning at Sam’s Anchor Cafe in Tiburon, CA in 1963 was marked by hard drinking by rowdy college and twenty-something crowd.

In 2014 on a Sunday, you find families filling the deck and enjoying the great view across San Francisco Bay to the City.

 

Mary Lou 1963

1963. My best friend from childhood. A flock of empty Ramos Fizz glasses (hey…don’t the raw eggs in them count as breakfast!)

Karen 1963

This photo was taken in La Jolla but that’s me in 1963.

We were best friends from the 4th grade on and in 1963 roommates in an off-campus apartment at UC Berkeley. Every Sunday morning we headed off to Sam’s with a couple of friends in the back seat of my Morris Minor and downed more Ramos fizzes than was prudent.

Amazing that we survived. Must have had more than one guardian angel looking over us. No one gave a thought to driving under the influence. Figured no harm could come our way if we were back on the road by one p.m. What can I say? We were both nineteen and stupid. All our friends drank with the help of the ubiquitous fake ID’s available on campus.

2014-03-07 14.04.23So here we are in March of 2014. Alive, well, and still best friends. I went on to a Ph.D., a 40-year career as a therapist, a union leader, the mother of two, grandmother of four, and, of course an author. My BBF went on to a fabulous career in catering, head of special events at the San Diego Convention center, a leadership position in the National Association for Catering and Events (NACE), and also a mother of two and grandmother of two. We turned into church-going, upstanding members of the community. This is a reverse cautionary tale for mothers who are worried what their college-aged children are up to, that they’ll never amount to anything! Of course, we both came to terms later in life with the risks we took around alcohol and we both have experienced the devastating effects of addiction within our own families. So certainly nothing to be flip about! Thank God for the gift of recovery.

 

Life Interrupted

P1010462I retired FOR GOOD four and a half years ago (the 100 flamingos in my yard were proof of that) after a forty-year career as a Clinical Psychologist. That’s eight thousand patients and tens of thousands of hours of listening to the basic seven stories of humankind: bad spouse or partner, bad job, bad kids, lousy childhood, maltreatment, bottom of society’s totem poles, or spiritual vacuum. But each retelling had its own flavor or its own horrors (just when you think you’ve heard the worst!) and the resilience of the human soul is a marvel to observe. Give it a place to flourish and flourish it will.

I turned my attention and my time toward being a loving grandparent and to fiction writing. I enjoyed putting the final touches on my second novel, MOTHER TONGUE, and developing a social media campaign to sell the first, DEGREES OF OBSESSION. How different the market has become for self-published authors. I even created a book trailer, which brought out the “director” in me.

And then my stellar work history caught up with me. A former colleague gave my name to a large heath care plan that services the Medi-Cal (Medicaid) population in 14 northern California counties. They were seeking someone with clinical experience and organizational skills (which I had obtained through leadership in my union) to serve as their Mental Health Director. Two days a week seemed doable and the lure of having a paycheck again, and a handsome one at that, led me to applying and then accepting the position.

So the plan is to sort out the new position, see what I can contribute to serving the Medi-Cal population in terms of mental health services, and run the Grammie and fiction writing “businesses” on the side. Who knew that entering the eighth decade of my life would be so invigorating and challenging. And I can always quit after I earn enough money to buy that Alfa Romeo Spider Veloce I’ve been hankering after!